The satanic freaks have been partying like its 1999. The whole 666 day was actually a 3 day "hoilday". A holiday that won't come again until June 6, 3006. A millennium. Most won't be here to see it again. Or so it seems.
Anyway, some disgusting humor from the topfive site on 666.
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C L U B T O P 5
Hello, Pittsburgh! Are you ready to rock 'n' list?!?
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June 6, 2006
The Top 17 Things to Do on 6/6/06
17> Skip work; call in possessed.
16> Send a singing pentagram to make your ex-wife's special day
complete.
15> Sacrifice twice as many goats as you did on March 3, 2003.
14> Nothing. Here in Australia, we won't celebrate the birth
of the anti-Christ until September 9, 2009, mate.
13> Drink a tankard or two of fresh blood while planning your
wife's presidential campaign.
12> Finally cook up the last of your Y2K rice and eat until
you pass out.
11> Bring a thermos of split pea soup to work and keep a mouthful
ready to surprise anybody who wanders into your cubicle.
10> Induce labor so your kid can have a really cool birth date
(expectant Goth parents only).
9> Impregnate Britney Spea--- oh, wait.
Impregnate Anna Nicol-- crap.
Um, impregnate Carrot Top?
8> Pay special attention to your boss's head, as his glowing
birthmark should be visible through his toupee.
7> Sneak into a maternity ward with a Magic Marker and number
some little beasts.
6> Be grateful that Lucifer himself also uses the Julian calendar
adjusted by Pope Gregory XIII in the 16th century.
5> "You put your left horn in, you put your left horn out, you
put your left horn in, and you shake it all about...."
4> Give a priest a wedgie.
3> Have a lunch of deviled eggs, deviled ham, devil's food cake
and Devil Dogs -- while listening to Celine Dion songs played
backwards.
2> Greenlight a sitcom called "Corey! Corey!" starring that wacky
comedy duo, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing to Do on 6/6/06...
1> Finally reveal to Barbara how "your son" really got to be
president.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
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Things to Do on 6/6/06
RUNNERS UP list -- Anti-Chris
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Blacken your fingernails with a Sharpie during the staff meeting
and it'll be easy pickin's with the mailroom Goth chicks the rest
of the day.
(Gordon Sherman, Camp Slayer, Baghdad)
Blast "Livin' on a Prayer" outside of Denise Richards' home 666
times.
(Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA)
Blow some Beelzebubbles.
(Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA)
Burn Al Roker in effigy to celebrate Her Unholy Highness, Katie
Couric, as the bridge between her secret evil-doings and complete
world domination just got that much smaller!
(Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX)
Call Pat Robertson and ask if he has Prince Albert of Darkness in
a can.
(Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH)
Call every video store in the area and ask if they have
"Apocalypse Today."
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
(Donald Junter, New Haven, CT)
Carve "6/6/06" on your forehead with a steak knife. Just remember:
People will be reading from your right to your left.
(David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO)
Celebrate your own Black Mass with six soft tacos, six bean
burritos, six gorditas and a Tab.
(Gordon Sherman, Camp Slayer, Baghdad)
(Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA)
Coke-and-assault-weapon-fueled tri-state-killing-spree. DUH!
(Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Convince your local Planned Parenthood clinic to offer a
two-for-one special on abortions.
(Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada)
Convince your new girlfriend that in the original Latin prophecy,
it was "Sex, sex, sex!"
(John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN)
(Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)
(Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA)
Do what the Supreme Dark Lord would do: Shoot your elderly friend
in the face and call it a "hunting accident."
(Chuck Brown, St. Stephen, NB, Canada)
Eat breakfast; worship the One.
(Meg Silvern, Tucson, AZ)
Elvira. Twice.
(Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA)
End every sentence with "... and if the Dark Lord and master of
evil allows it, it shall be so."
(Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI)
Give yourself that "THIS is hell!" feeling by buying and watching
"The Facts of Life" DVD series.
(Chuck Brown, St. Stephen, NB, Canada)
Go house to house posing as a priest asking women if you can
inspect their entire bodies for the mark of the devil. Hey, it
worked for that guy who posed as a doctor!
(Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA)
Hang out at the playground and offer Lambada lessons to the
kiddies.
(Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA)
Have ridiculously obvious birthmark removed from scalp where
everyone in the friggin' world can see it.
(Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA)
Help break single-day sales record at Pentacles 'N' Goats 'R' Us.
(John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN)
Hold a fake military funeral and when the gay-hating church
members from Kansas show up, bury them instead.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Join Charles Manson's MySpace friends list.
(Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA)
Party like it's 666!
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
Sacrifice a chicken and pave the road to His Hellborn Majesty's
Infernal Kingdom on Earth with the bones and blood. Or order a
three-piece special at KFC -- same diff.
(Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH)
Sacrifice your new secretary's virginity to the Dark Lord. Even if
she's not a virgin.
(Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC)
(Donald Junter, New Haven, CT)
Shave, shower, pray to Satan, head off to work as CEO of Exxon.
Just like every other Tuesday.
(Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR)
Sit back with a nice plate of deviled eggs, deviled ham and
devil's food cake, and watch "The Best Damned Sports Show Period."
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Stand on the Senate floor and embrace the humanity and dignity of
all God's creatures. Or gay-bash, whichever Satan instructs you to
do.
(David Kass, Queens, NY)
Stop for a nice cup of coffee with Osama, O.J. and O'Reilly.
(Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan)
Watch as the Baldwin brothers rehearse their upcoming apocalyptic
ride.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Runners Up list name
(Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH)
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Things to Do on 6/6/06
HONORABLE MENTIONS list -- Beastly
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1. Open seventh seal.
2. Cry, "Havoc!"
3. Set out-of-office message.
4. Let slip the dogs of war.
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
Burn some churches, slaughter some innocents, then relax with a
nice refreshing glass of tea while watching "Dr. Phil" in the
afternoon.
(Brian Daywalt, Wabash, IN)
Call the 700 Club and state you would like to make a withdrawal.
When the operator protests, cackle demonically.
(Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH)
Clean out the pantry, tossing out any angel food cake mix.
(David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA)
Convince hot fundies they have been left behind and should now
proceed with all manner of sinning.
(Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA)
Do some really dangerous, X-Games-type stuff while grinning
"Damien! I'm doing this for you, Damien!"
(Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY)
Dress up in regalia for Toronto's NBA franchise and ask your
co-workers if they are ready for the Raptors.
(Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)
Finally send in that application for law school.
(Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR)
(Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY)
For lunch: the 40-clove garlic chicken -- with extra garlic!
(Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA)
Go see "The Da Vinci Code." Take THAT, Jesus!
(David Kass, Queens, NY)
Have lunch with Ken Lay and Tom DeLay.
(Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC)
Keep paging Satan, Asmodai, Beelzebub, Lucifer or Mephistopheles
over the P.A. system at work.
(Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI)
Let your hairy hands do the devil's work.
(Elizabeth Black, Asotin, WA)
Make love to your wife wearing glow-in-the-dark red contact lenses.
(Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA)
Re-wire your office Muzak system to play an endless loop of Karen
Carpenter's greatest hits, to let people know what to expect on
Judgment Day.
(Tom Louderback, Boston, MA)
Rent "Gigli," put your DVD player on repeat, tape your eyes open.
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
Same as every day: Go to the office, tell everyone on the bus to
go to hell, look for virgins to "sacrifice."
(Ian Dauphinee, Calgary, AB, Canada)
(Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY)
(Andrew Hackard, Austin, TX)
See if you can establish squatter's rights in Satan's castle while
he and his minions are busy roaming the surface of the earth.
(Brian Daywalt, Wabash, IN)
Set up a free scalp check stand at the local swap meet, looking
for "the One."
(Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA)
Sink an oil tanker on Lake Erie, strike a match and create your
own Lake of Fire!
(Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA)
Spend the entire day holed up in a church, wringing your hands and
praying fervently for the wisdom to realize it's just a
theologically insignificant stupid friggin' calendar date.
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
Take candy from a baby, 'cause it's like taking candy from a baby.
(Elizabeth Black, Asotin, WA)
Throw a big birthday party for the Prince of Darkness, but don't
be surprised if that evil, lying, egomaniacal demon isn't grateful.
(Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL)
Visit all the fishmongers in town and ask for a filet of their
eternal sole.
(Tom Louderback, Boston, MA)
Walk around with fake blood on your palms; complain that your
stigmata are acting up.
(Allan Rousselle, Redmond, WA)
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